young hearts

when the core of your staff strength..
are mostly seventeen and eighteen year olds..
you'll never feel old..

but you just have to suck it in..
when every year end arrives..
as the sixteen year olds start streamin' in to work..
freshly graduated from school..
you'll realize they get younger and younger every year..
but if you look from the other (more realistic) perspective..
it's you that's gettin' older..

it used to bother me..
but it ain't a thorn in my skin any longer..
cos of the people i work or worked with..
be it at st.. fg.. tm.. usq.. or dear jp..

age is never a barrier..
when it comes in havin' fun..
sometimes work means play..
and thank god.. i work here..
(at certain occasions though)..

i do get mocked and teased by the guys..
as my big three-oh approaches..
but they are just pure and harmless jokes..
no offence taken..
but it's actually them i have to thank..
cos they make me feel young at heart..

if they say 40 is the new 30..
then that makes 30 the new 20..



my para para debut.. feb '09.. (thx ahbui for the vid)..

sidetrack>>
honey left on a mission to bintan today.. she'll be back on sunday nite.. she's there to attend to less fortunate patients who need intense medical attention and also promote hiv/aids awareness among the masses.. while i went bowlin' with the guys @ chevron..

a different world..

sometimes i would love to blog my really.. really.. really.. really.. really deep inner feelings and thoughts on cyberspace.. but then i'd be too embarrassed if people read it.. it's practically suicide if i were to be postin'.. for e.g..

who am i havin' a crush on?

who am i missin' so dearly?

who do i hate to work with in forum?

what did boss say about that person?

what did i do in the toilet today?.. (just an example ok)

what type of porn am i watchin' on the net?.. (again.. just another example alrite)

what's the point of havin' a blog in the first place if your pals can't read it.. that's why sometimes the old-fashioned way.. journalizin' in the diary is the safest platform for one to..

bitch about anybody with real original names written without hurtin' the concerned person..

express deepest darkest desires..

diss genuine straightforward opinions and thoughts about one's best friends.. you can't be possibly bloggin' the followin'..

"i really hate *****.. he's the greatest piece of shit walkin' on god's green earth.. he's a f***in' backstabber.. but he's still my best friend..

well duh..

basically.. no holds barred.. anythin' goes.. cos it's not supposed to accessible.. exposed.. or revealed to others.. it's your own secret.. if only i had the guts and boldness of that blogger sex goddess from singaporelolita (thx joned no.2 for the link)..

but then what i liked about bloggin'.. is that i can post these videos.. videos of past jp tru memories.. cos i truly miss the store and the guys.. it's a totally different workin' world at tan boon liat.. my sincerest heartfelt sympathy for the guys sufferin' there.. totally deprived of a proper and comfortable workin' environment.. where they can call it their own home again.. i hope they can endure the weeks to come.. and the new stores they will be sent to..

enjoy the vids..

and ahbui.. spot on..

bad role model..

i think i'm a bad role model..


met honey yesterday after work.. headed to west mall to have dinner.. usually when we meet out.. she would conduct her prayers at any mosque or 'surau' nearby when it's time.. she's very very very particular.. she'll get perturbed if she misses one.. that's supposed to be a good thing right?.. but on this nite.. she couldn't cos of that normal woman issue.. now i thought i could escape.. but she dissed the idea of me doin' it later at home.. so i complied.. wait a tick.. shouldn't the man be the one leadin' the woman here?.. i should be the one bearin' this responsibility.. what kind of exemplary role am i settin'?

and i shouldn't be encouragin' you either..

hope you hadn't be naughty since the last time we met..

pls take good care of yourself..

i worry about you everyday..

the jp team has been reportin' to tan boon liat buildin' since this past monday.. resortin' all 70 pallets of our stocks.. so-called the phase 2 of the jp store closure.. surprise.. surprise.. suddenly i felt that phase 1.. basically the reno works of the past few weeks were much easier to bear.. hmm ironic isn't it?.. but then surprises.. and shockers.. are always interestin'.. ;p


and kudos to my babe.. kate winslet for winnin' an oscar.. like finally.. she totally deserved it..

breakin' the habit..

i have a new habit..

i can't stop shoppin'.. bought two pairs of levi's jeans and belt last wed.. that amounted to slightly above a hundred bucks.. and the next day.. wanted to buy my standard shampoo and then ended up buyin' a hair lotion with marine extract as well.. got 'psychoed' by the promoter.. i don't know whatever for.. says that it makes hair soft and strong.. hope it helps with my depletin' hair.. cos couldn't believe i just spent nearly a hundred bucks for this crap..

yesterday met honey and her mum at arab st.. bought cloth and some accessories for our solemnization day next year.. wah so early.. sent it for personal tailorin' too.. that cost a couple of hundreds already.. and the outfit will be worn for a day only next march.. goodness.. how much will the whole thingy cost then?.. i fear to think..

and earlier today.. bought a pair of lacoste shoes.. recommended by brader.. he's got good taste.. as age catches up on me.. i guess i've lost my groomin' touch.. haha..

gotta break this habit soon.. if not i'll be skinnin' myself alive if i ain't got much dough for the big day next year.. but then.. there's dad.. and his cpf.. heheh.. he'll be 55 this sep.. hmm.. that seems to be a good idea..

oh man.. they are screenin' ' 'the pianist' on okto now.. watched the movie at shaw back in '02 with my n.s bud.. my most disturbin' but favourite scene of the film (not that i'm sadistic or heartless but you really have to appreciate the director's vision).. would be the part where the nazi soldiers lifted a crippled jewish man on a wheelchair and threw him off a 5 or 6-storey high balcony.. and you'll see the man fallin' till he hits the ground head first.. wonderful direction.. gonna watch it now.. adios..

"If you prick us,

do we not bleed?

If you tickle us,

do we not laugh?

If you poison us,

do we not die?

If you wrong us,

do we not revenge?"

we.. done..

finally.. we are done.. after throwin' the last batch of metal scrap.. we shut the roller shutter for the last time tonight.. we ain't comin' back again.. poignance filled the air.. as if something you held dear had died.. and only the memories.. be it sweet or not that remains.. cos you have nothin' to fall back on.. the store is no more.. home is no more..

i started my career here back in aug '03 as a part-time cashier.. and how fittin' it was that i'd be involved in its end.. made many friends then.. some worth knowin'.. and some not.. climbed the career ladder and became supervisor here too.. struggled to make ends meet.. cos this was not exactly my dream job.. but then the ambience and atmosphere of jp tru made you feel like home.. and you really wanted to stay.. and so i was seriously taken aback when i had to be transferred out in apr '05.. no disrespect to the other stores i was transferred to.. i had my fair share of fun.. laughter.. and pleasantries at all of them.. but one will always have a soft spot for one's mother store..

after slightly more than 3 years.. finally made my return back to jp in jul '08.. felt different cos firstly.. i returned as a manager.. and secondly it ain't the old team i used to work with.. although there were a few 'orang lama'.. it's the new breed that ran the show.. my only regret is that my second stint here at jp wasn't as long as my first.. only 7 months.. but then there were certain periods i was always attached out from store to do projects.. so that made it even lesser.. sometimes i wished i had more courage and time to know you guys better.. i always thought that i could have taken that opportunity during d&d last aug.. but then i was still fresh in jp.. and we did not know one another that well.. maybe at that point of time.. we were just acquaintances.. and colleagues..

come to think of it.. i always get tranferred out to other stores when the company's d&d's around the corner.. hmm..

• 
  
  apr '05 - i got tranferred out from jp to usq.. and d&d was the week after my transfer.. i chose to sit with the then jp team cos that time i didn't know the usq guys that well.. got labelled 'sombong' for my decision..


• 
  
  aug '06 - i got transferred to fg from usq.. and d&d was in the same month.. sigh.. this time i chose to sit at the same table with the fg guys.. and my table was between the jp and usq tables.. awkward.. got some stares from the usq table too..


• 
  
  jul/aug '08 - less than a month after my transfer to jp.. d&d at whatever that club was called.. keep this a secret.. i was actually lonely that nite.. i moved around just to keep myself entertained.. i didn't have a proper table.. group.. or should i say store to sit with.. check your personal d&d camera photos.. am i in them?.. if i'm there.. then thanks for the pic.. which i believe is a group picture.. that nite i was like a palestinian whom had just lost his plot of land.. haha.. when the event was over.. i didn't know who to go back with.. so i went home alone..

but don't worry.. i ain't frettin' about it.. hey.. u guys got me a cake and present for my birthday last year.. appreciated that very much.. celebrated xmas together in dec.. sentosa last month was a blast.. i was glad we grew much closer as the months unfold but unfortunately it had to end all too soon.. i would relish if i was given a month more to work with you guys.. but then a month's too short for my likin' either.. come march.. in the event if we don't get to work together.. wish you guys all the best.. and you will be missed..

forget me not..

p/s: who else will be callin' me hawaii boss at my new place?.. ;p haha..

FIN

me.. myself.. & ziana..

let's try somethin' different now.. (but before that.. just wanna say.. enjoyed goin' out with brader yesterday.. and at nite.. the guys at work got duped thinkin' that we could finish the tm work by 2am.. but instead we left store at 5am.. shit still happens)..

a few years back.. when i was at forum.. through an uneventful bus 190 ride conversation back home with a staff (who's also a good buddy).. discovered that he was a cousin to an old secondary school friend of mine.. which was a pleasant surprise.. so days later.. the same staff told me that he had asked his cousin.. my friend.. whether he knew amin.. my old friend replied yes but what tickled me was the friend actually told my staff that " amin is funny.. cos he likes ziana zain.." i chuckled.. the old bugger remembered..

many actually asked me why ziana?.. seriously i have no clue.. i think it all boils down to influence.. and upbringin' maybe.. thank god no one in my family had listened to boy george back then..

'92

ziana released her debut solo album 'madah berhelah' in '91.. but i only started listenin' to her the following year.. my uncle who used to live with us at our yishun flat introduced her album to me.. and when i first listened to that 'madah berhelah' track.. it was like wow!.. this lady can really scream and shriek.. and it was hard to watch your favourite singers on tv that time.. cos you wouldn't know when they will be performin'.. unless by chance.. you got to watch the promo or gazette on tv.. and there weren't the pleasures of the internet or cable back then.. so rtm1 & 2.. and sometimes channel 5 (cos there weren't any local malay channel at that time) were the only source of solace i had to watch her..

'93

i'm an avid fan of tv3 m'sia song comp.. 'juara lagu'.. where artists belt their hearts out.. performin' their tunes to win the coveted 'champion song of the year' award.. the year before ziana got into the finals but she lost.. it's ok cos it was her rookie year.. so when her second album titled her own name was released in '93.. she had a couple of powerful songs and stood a good chance winnin' the comp.. but she blew it.. she had two songs in the ballad category semis.. and none was picked to enter the finals.. i was disappointed.. i didn't get to watch it though cos the area i lived in yishun back then couldn't get tv3 transmission.. i got to know about it when i read the local malay newspaper.. and so it started.. every time she failed.. she got scrutinized.. there were also other artists who didn't make into the finals that year.. but ziana's failure stood above the rest and had to be published.. but of cos.. ziana being ziana.. she accepted her defeat with grace..

'94 & '95

ziana embarked on an acting career.. her debut film sembilu and its sequel were major hits in the region.. usin' her own name as the character in the film.. she grew more popular and i was glad that her career was startin' to shine much brighter.. she practically stole the show from the main leads.. but then i seriously disliked how ziana zain the singer was being projected in the film.. the director made her character a slut.. a bitch.. a whore.. cos technically she's the villain in the film.. and the character was her own name!.. c'mon yusof haslam.. if you could come up with 'wati' for erra fazira's character.. you could have replace another name for ziana's character too.. maybe siti safian.. or nur rayhan.. ;p haha..

'96

by this time.. ziana's career was through the roof.. she just released her third solo album in late '95.. and it was superb.. i remembered goin' to bt gombak before school in the afternoon and bought her cassette (i had shifted to cck in '94 and yes.. a cassette.. cos i still didn't have a cd player at that time).. so when '96 came.. mum and dad decided to get cable tv and i pleaded them to subscribe to tv3 cos i wanted to watch 'juara lagu'.. believin' that she could win the comp when dec comes.. i really had high expectations of her.. in the same year.. she had an amazin' and hauntin' unplugged concert on tv3 and i bought the cd when it was released.. (my first cd player was a lucky draw prize dad won at his annual hotel d&d).. and the highlight of her illustrious career came when she was voted m'sia berita harian most popular artist.. so momentous.. '96 was generally ziana zain's year.. well.. almost..

nov '96.. i had my vcr ready cos it was juara lagu semis.. ballad category that monday.. ziana had two songs in contention.. 'korban cinta' and the 'kemelut' song.. i believe not many knew about this.. she was pitted to ease through the semis and win the whole comp in dec.. but i guessed she got slightly overconfident while singin' 'korban cinta' live.. it started well but when the middle portion of the song came.. she actually skipped two verses accidentally.. so there was a point of time during the song.. the music played on but there were no lyrics when there should be.. she tried to cover her mistake.. but it was obvious.. and too late.. i remembered watchin' with my mum.. and my mum could only blurted out 'nyacham'.. but credit to ziana cos after the song's guitar interlude.. she continued to finish the song.. but i could see the disappointment and embarrassment on her face.. she must have felt like shit.. but thank goodness she had another opportunity with the 'kemelut' song later.. she recovered.. sang brilliantly.. and got through to the finals with that song.. phew!.. i was relieved.. so when i watched back the tape.. i would usually fast-forward the part when the mistake happened.. cos i couldn't bear watchin' that..

i remembered the finals.. sat.. 28 dec '96.. 2pm.. pusat dagangan dunia putra.. kuala lumpur.. i had my vcr ready again.. she's gonna win it.. she's gonna win it i tot.. other artists competin' that year included slam.. spring.. fauziah latiff.. amelina.. and one by the name of siti nurhaliza.. for the ballad category.. ziana performed her 'kemelut' song first.. it was ok but not that spectacular.. like how she sang that same song during her unplugged concert months back.. then 17 year old siti performed her ballad.. 'jerat percintaan'.. it was flawless.. oh no.. ziana's gonna lose.. and to my dismay and heartbreak.. true enough.. siti won the whole comp.. it was her rookie year .. i was livid when the results were announced.. i was totally mad that i think i broke somethin'.. my sis was watchin' with me and she laughed.. and called me a weirdo.. ;p ziana was put in the middle of the media attention again for not being successful at that stage.. it was reported the she wasn't feelin' well on the day.. she also admitted that siti deserved to win the comp and it was her rezeki.. such warmth and graciousness.. but till this day.. i'm still disappointed ziana didn't win that year.. she could have won it but again.. she blew it..

shit happens

could have blogged at 5 in the mornin' today after work but was too lethargic.. threw rubbish the nite before which dragged till about 3.30am.. phew!.. it was tormentin'.. the amount of rubbish and junk we had in store really put us to the challenge.. especially when the container wasn't that big.. but we managed to squeeze all those damn crap and shit into the bin.. and after the whole ordeal.. i really smelled like that same damn crap and shit.. and we are yet to throw the unwanted metals.. just a few more days.. endurance is the key to survival..

p.s: kakak called me abt 7 in the mornin'.. informin' that the driver of the rubbish container refused to pick up the bin cos the load was too high.. gosh.. another shitty challenge.. and the mall security management wanted the bin to be removed or else we'll be fined or somethin'.. oh my.. how to think of a solution at 7am.. braindead!!!.. i thought i did mumble somethin' to kakak cos i was too dazed.. i couldn't recollect what i said to her.. i hope it wasn't utter shit.. now that'd be embarrassin'.. i don't how the situation is like now.. but what i know that i had a dozen missed calls on my hp when i woke up.. from the bottom of my heart.. at this point of time that i'm bloggin'.. i hope it's ok now.. i don't even dare to call kakak.. pray..

today we are reportin' at tampines to do some final touches to the store's renovation which started since last oct.. but before that.. will be meetin' brader first in an hour.. sweet of him to accompany me to suntec.. will be gettin' a new pair of jeans.. cos my most comfortable and favourite one has totally worn out.. had that pair since my national service days i think.. well got to go now.. i'm freakin' late.. can't wait to meet brader.. chao..

dear honey..

can't recall the last time i went to karaoke.. cravin' for it right now.. hope that the karaoke outin' with the store guys materializes this month end(will provide details soon).. need someone to sing a duet song with me.. any takers?..

wish i could bring honey along.. but she doesn't like all this.. i actually feel guilty not tellin' things to her.. like not tellin' her that i went to the chalet over the weekend.. but what to do.. don't get me wrong.. i'm not cheatin' on her.. love is there.. love is all around.. but all i can say is.. zest.. spontaneity.. adventure & mis adventures.. only then one achieves self-contentment and fulfilment.. let life be unpredictable.. it is supposed to be that way.. it really annoys me that i can't do anythin'.. i try to understand.. but sometimes i feel it's too rigid and dogmatic.. it drives me crazy.. of cos certain boundaries still have to be observed.. that i agree.. but honey.. you need to express yourself more.. we need to express ourselves more.. i think there are priests laughin' at me..

anyways.. rayhan and alex got shrinkwrapped today.. serve them right.. for not thinkin' before postin' self-destructive comments on fb.. haha..

p/s: rayhan looks charmin' lately.. ;P

death becomes the store..

went to mohd's chalet in the early mornin'.. could have gone there earlier.. but the host was actually workin' in store.. so we had to wait.. and decided to go to e-hub.. which was the place to be.. only if you're there in the day.. or maybe a minute earlier.. thanks makcik.. but chalet was still fun.. thanks mohd..

author would like to mention that rayhan's the man on this nite.. ;P

then had to work in the evenin'.. and today was the last day of jp sales operation.. 50% off storewide.. actually whatever was left on the salesfloor.. although it was bustlin' with people.. the store reeked death.. no one can save it from its demise..

yan's xxxxx..

faizul's appetite..

fifi's laughter

ahbui's ignorance..

rayhan's innocence..

arfian's jokes..

mohd's thoughtfulness..

nazri's company

all had fallen short and worked no miracles..

death has become the store..

and hopefully..

not its people..

pushin' the limit..

worried about the part-timers..
worried about you..
they have no where to go..

you have no where to go..

pls wait.. don't leave..

give us a few weeks..

we'll get all back..

and i'll get you back..

finally..

it was the last time we went to work together yesterday..

and there'll be no more..

i'll miss it so dearly..

will you?..

baby boy & others repack (left).. old man humpin' on the pallet jack..

hurricane katrina hits store (left).. no casualities in this disaster

after supper.. and shagged (left).. even my ass looks tired..

to get saturday off..

we were willin' to shackle ourselves..

the whole of fri nite till sat morn..

nothin' behind the salesfloor was spared..

after nearly 14 hrs of pain and strain..

the back half was totally stripped..

stripped of shelvings..

toys..

memories and laughter..

vday today.. so?..
later today..
honey..
chalet..
nothing else matters..

torn..

oh my.. the work is beginnin' to take its toll on everybody.. and we are only half way thru..

open then pack.. open then pack again.. make up your mind lah.. haha..

rayhan is damn evil..

i told you so..

stackin' cartons at 1 in the mornin' is tough(left).. fardhaz is cute ;P..

what's left of the lunch room bench (left).. the store room..

what's left of the lunch room.. boo hoo.. where to eat now?

the store now really looks like a condemned buildin' in a torn nation.. haha..

but more importantly.. i feel torn myself..

torn..

coz my muscles ache..

my throat is sore..
my mind is spent..
my body is broken..
torn..
coz i didn't receive any messages from you today..
i wonder whether you feel somethin' amiss..
when you never receive my messages for a day..
i know i do..
torn..
coz i missed that opportunity..
overslept..
thanks to all these..

and real hell starts now..

breaking news!..

jp toys r us last day of sales operations will be this sunday.. feb 15.. coz there was a miscom between the mall mgmt and our own mgmt on the handover date.. initially it was thought that the handover date was mar 31.. but due to certain events being unfold.. it was discovered that the actual date is mar 2.. that's like at least two weeks away.. no point blaming anyone.. in the end.. operations people still suffer.. and now the planned six weeks of reno bangla work by boss had to be crunched to only two.. so challengin'.. it would be more challengin' if honey understands.. ;P she didn't reply my messages today..

but i'm more worried about the store guys.. where would they go?.. they were prepared with the store closin' everythin' in a month's time.. but they weren't prepared for somethin' immediate like this.. so sad.. they said they want to follow me to which ever store i go to.. but what if i get transferred to tampines.. i think they'd have second thoughts.. coz it'd be some distance for them to travel.. well i have to think of all possibilities right?.. well guys.. if we are not meant to work together again after jp shuts down.. i just wanna say i'll miss workin' with all of you..

especially you..

it ended later than usual today.. coz things needed to be pushed a bit harder due to the shorter time frame.. maybe i should start documentin' the moments leadin' to the demise of the store.. that'd be interestin'.. boss led one team to throw metal.. thank god i did rtw.. even ying came to help.. (suck up).. haha..

empty staging..

rtw is nothin' to st guys..

the iron ladies held on..

baby boy gets lethargic..

debrief - weekend burn?..

wonder what's in store for us next?..

just wanna say..

i ain't mad you didn't come..

though i was hopeful..

can't wait to see you soon..

peak of love..

the dust is unbearable..
my nose's a torture..
we're halfway thru hell week in store..
another month to endure..
pls let this be the last..

times like this..
u gotta find a source of comfort..
and solace..
that i can find when i reach my crib..
more accurately..
when i log onto the tube..
and watch my most favourite video..
it makes me happy..

(click on the link first before continue readin'..)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfRLpu1er7M

..

..

..

..

..

..

haha.. laugh all you want..
you may think it's lame..
being a loyal fan of 18 years..
what do you expect?..

what makes me happy too..
is the thought of some of you guys..
wantin' to follow me..
after jp shuts its doors..
i'm so touched..
but don't say that..
i ain't the best..
there are better ones..
serious..
but if god permits..
then i'll be totally glad..

tru j.b anyone?..

lastly..

what makes me happy too..

is that you came today..

martha..

"writing is a wonderful tool to help the healing of the soul" - martha hart

..

martha hart is the wife of the late great wrestler owen hart who died 10 years ago from a tragic accident during a live event..

..

martha is right..

writing heals the soul..

but the difference is i can't write a book..

i can only blog..

so i'm bloggin' now..

cos my soul is wounded..

wounded with jealousy..

seriously..

..

i get jealous..

when you never ask me out..

when you never look at me..

when you never notice me..

when you never smile at me..

when you never spend time with me..

when you never talk to me..

when you never tease me..

i get jealous..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

nope.. it didn't work martha..

so how now..

..

fig, olive & the first movie date..

can't believe i have both weekends off this week.. my.. dats a first in months i think.. but ironically.. i have no plans in mind.. might as well work.. hmm..
..
..
NOTTT!!!..
so i did the unthinkable.. besides indulgin' myself everyday in p***.. and more p***.. (u can actually get bored u know).. i dug out my old trash.. my old diary.. from yr 2000.. ahhh the wonderful memories.. especially in mar & aug '00.. hmm.. but let's see what was i doing on this day.. 9 yrs back..

08/02/00
WASHED THE SCHOOL TOILET FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER RECESS WITH MY CLASSMATES.. SCHOOL OM VERY FUSSY..

wow.. so the happenin' today in '00.. i think it was a form of school service we had to do.. a form of punishment.. but i can't remember why.. dots..
but thank god it's a different story today in '09..



went to the new mediterranean eating place @ jp.. fiq & olive.. together with honey and the little ones.. i brought younger sis.. and honey brought along hers.. i think the waiters might have mistaken me as their daddy.. haha.. compliment?.. insult?.. u be the judge.. anyways it was a good lunch.. and ex too.. but i don't mind at all..

and another historic moment was made today.. we went to our first movie date.. yup.. in 12 mths since we were together.. with the little ones of course.. cos honey gets perturbed goin' to the movies alone with anyone.. especially if her movie partner is a guy.. (it's wrong).. cos it's her principle.. i try to understand.. but i still don't know why.. she prefers her movie outings to be in groups..
sometimes i wonder what we did on our dates this past year.. cos goin' out to the movies is usually the in-thing for first and randomly subsequent dates.. since god created time maybe.. thank god the kids were around.. they mooted the idea.. they wanted to watch "inkheart".. maybe cos it's the only movie in theatres at the moment that has kids and family adventure elements.. i can't possibly be bringin' them to watch underworld.. or worse still.. fann wong and christopher lee.. urgghh.. ;P so honey was able to tag along with us too.. haha..



oh my god.. i just had a dejavu checkin' the preview of this post.. funny..
really hope my plan for this tuesday comes along well..
and wats up with my facebook acct.. the glitch is still there..

once mighty..

walandeh.. wat's wrong with my fb account?.. i can't even get into my home page.. must be somethin' wrong with the moronic server.. can't even upload any pix..
anyways.. started the day a bit grouchy.. reached jp 5 hrs before the 8pm reportin' time.. dun know why also.. just need to get out of the house.. then you came along.. and relieved all the uneasiness and tension cloudin' me.. ;D
well.. since at the moment i can't get into fb.. might as well i upload the pix here first.. some sort of a preview..
besides myself.. i've always seen safian as someone mighty.. but like any mighty persons in history.. they will sooner or later fall.. people like.. mussolini.. suharto.. michael jackson.. boy george.. mighty mouse?.. ;D
as history has shown.. when birthdays are concerned.. mighty safian fell from grace tonight.. shrinkwrap.. wigs.. tit-like objects.. dirty socks.. balls.. ric flair's arm chops (does your chest still hurt?).. hope you enjoyed all of it.. and i got ur @ss on video.. dun worry.. it's not somethin' i'm proud of either.. happy birthday dude.. and in the words of bill goldberg.. "rayhan!.. you're next!"..

damn it!.. still can't get into fb.. wth..

tadpoles and frogs..

haha.. i'm startin' to fear for myself now.. a year from now seems too long..
well it's a first in these many weeks.. no messages.. no calls.. the whole of yesterday.. phasin' out already?..
and a quick shoutout to the guys in store.. sorry.. no can tell.. the secret dies with me.. but thanks for the concern.. really appreciate it..

the company..

your company yesterday..
last wed.. the weeks before..
really brightened me up..
can't believe that..
my heart actually aches..
when you left store earlier..
although we are years apart..
i'm delighted we are close..

i always think of you..
but do you always think of me too?..

you are special to me..
but am i special to you too?..

now i know how she felt nine years ago..

screamin' silently..

lately.. i'm confused.. so confused that i can't even explain what's wrong with me.. but the most shitty part of it all.. i can't tell anyone.. coz i'm too embarrassed.. too embarrassed to the extent.. i can't even tell my own fiance the problem.. (yes.. in case you don't know.. i got engaged last Aug.. hope to be happily married next year.. god's will)..

by right.. to me it's not actually a problem.. it's just a phase.. and this phase actually pleases me very much.. this phase has been brewin' since last dec.. i actually really like it.. and this phase will pass me by sooner or later.. ironically i don't want it to go away at all.. but from a practical point of view it has to.. and with the closin' down of jp store soon.. it is bound to go away.. but i really don't want that to happen.. oh my.. the torment!.. since i can't express this feelings with anyone.. all i have been doin' for the past two months or so.. was just scream silently at my poor miserable self.. so the drama..

and damn it!.. tonight is the start of the jp store closin' down reno project.. great timing..

FOREWORD

Well.. here I am.. startin' to blog at the right place..

I still wonder what took me so long to blog here.. (dumbass).. I have a friendster blog.. but that's crappy.. Didn't update it for ages now.. I guess this is the place to be..

Back in '99.. I started journalizin' my life in a form of a diary.. (wow.. that's so old school).. yup.. pennin' my thoughts and feelings for the next 3 years was fun.. but then when '02 came along.. got tired.. stopped writin' totally.. but life for me didn't stop there.. such a waste it didn't get jotted down.. but then i'll try my very best to share whatever memories and stories i could recollect.. be it good or bad.. in this blog.. coz 7 years till this day in '09.. boy.. had i gone thru a lot of shit..

So enough talk.. be warned.. aminoheat's back with a vengeance!..

And a shout out to my old skool buddy Idi.. Happy Birthday dude!!!..