pay day..

i really pity my friends..
one should rejoice when month end comes..
cos it's pay day..
but for the past months..
pay day's like.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

simply put..
it's agonizin' for them..
unapproved data..
short pay..
unpaid o.t..
late payout..

how much more can they take?..
i know i can't..

and for some people out there..
O$P$..

espresso..

met honey earlier today..
we talked about what had transpired recently..
we are cool now.. i hope..

anyway..
if you guys decide to chill @ bistro delifrance..
DO NOT.. order the espresso..
honey ordered and it cost freakin' $2.80..
look what she got when it reached our table..
the cup was freakishly small and it's half-filled..
tell ya if any pre-schooler drinks this..
they'll still be thirsty..

so i thought it might be a mistake..
cos earlier i dissed at a staff for being incompetent..
tot this might be her way to get back at me..
so i asked another staff if the espresso was meant to be served like this..
and she replied yes.. if i had ordered the double espresso..
then the whole cup will be filled..

dots..

oh my..

woke up today..
to the shockin' news of m.j's departure..
oh my.. can't believe he's dead..

farah fawcett died too..
there goes one of the original angels..

oh my.. a double whammy..

well i don't know whether i want to call it a triple whammy..

but somethin' else died too..

or maybe at the brink of it..

told bro about it after training yesterday..
he tried talkin' some sense into me..
oh my.. but i just don't know..

brothers..

one for monday..
dinner at bugis..
hearty advice..
a late nite out at mustafa..
and a ride home..

one more for tuesday..
free movie at cathay..
tf2 preview.. slightly disappointin'..
preferred the original one though..
and another ride home..

and the last one for wednesday..
a huge quarrel..
silent treatment momentarily..
reconciliation..
the long walk home..

and still brothers..

phonecall..

got myself a notebook over the weekend..
couldn't believe i got it either..
initially went to carrefour at suntec..
got my eyes set on the baby..
but the service rendered was extremely poor..
i wasn't served properly..
the salesman doesn't know a shit..
and i was made to wait.. and wait.. and wait several times..
i couldn't be bothered any longer..
the last time he made me wait while he checked somethin'..
i said ok but i left..
went to harvey norman just opposite and got the baby..

resumed my practicals too..
was rusty after missin' lessons for two weeks..
but managed to pull thru..
and yes ah!.. passed final evaluation..

and yan..
where am i?..
a phonecall away..

raffles..

back to the drawin' board..

inventory is comin' soon..
and there was a walk-in interview for helpers..
and i was at the helm of the 3-day session at suntec..
the first day was madness..
interviewed almost 90 people..
but the numbers gradually died down as the days went by..
alerted office to run another ad in the papers this mon..

with the economic downturn plaguin' us right now..
i'm just glad that i'm not the one goin' for a job interview..

i remember a job interview i went 6 years ago..
i was already a part-timer at toys 'r' us..
but i wanted a full-time job badly..
and just being part-time wasn't my cup of tea..

i went to raffles hotel..
walked in and applied to be a front desk officer..
i recall goin' to their human resource office in the basement..
and there were other applicants too..
and this abang sittin' beside me..
was also applyin' for a job..
he looked like an ex-convict or offender..
and he wanted to see my completed form..
and i let him.. til' now i don't know why i did that..

i guess he felt threatened..
with the outbreak of sars at that time..
lookin' for a job was like a gold rush..
which actually resembled the situation at present..
with the threat of h1n1..

i passed the first interview with the h.r lady..
and was asked to come back for a second interview the followin' week..
an indian gentleman in a neatly ironed suit interviewed me the next round..
i believed he must have used starch for his suit..
he brought me around the hotel..
had a drink and talked at the lounge..
i also remembered at the end of interview..
when i wanted to take my i.c back from security..
the security personnel informed..
they had given my i.c to the wrong guy.. what the..
but they had already contacted the guy..
and he was on the way back to the control room..
to return my i.c and take his..
such efficiency..

i thought i did well for my second interview..
but the call from raffles didn't come..
actually the call did come a few weeks later..
i was doin' cashier at the ol' jp store..
picked up the call at my register booth while on duty (oops)..
and a lady asked if i was interested to be their security guard..
again.. what the..
no disrespect to all security personnels.. but no way..
i guess i wasn't cut out to be even a front desk officer huh..
mr. indian gentleman in the starched suit..

it was such a miserable period of my life..
i completed n.s when sars was rampant..
couldn't continue my studies..
and i was penniless..
my dreams and ambitions were completely dashed..
this wasn't the life i had hoped for back then..

but now..
after all the struggles and setbacks..
i went thru..
i'm just contented that i have a job right now..
with age catchin' up..
no point dreamin' anymore..
looks like i just have to settle for this..
with no regrets..

and i'm still mad with you though..

unappreciated..

so far.. june is shitty..

with the exception of the inventory video shoot i did at forum..
june is still shitty.. f*cked up..
no video bloopers on my blog or facebook..
not in the mood..

firstly.. the doomed fisher price product session last tues..
the attendance was f*ckin' poor..
it was humiliatin'..
and i got questioned by office people and vendor..
no one takes me seriously as a trainer..
even my friends..
i understand how busy stores can be in june..
i've been there people!..
but just less than 2 hours of your time won't hurt right?..

then went to rompin pahang this past weekend..
less than a two-day affair..
with mum.. dad.. younger bro & sis..
mum dragged me along cos it's a tour..
a tour with her iman kindergarten bosses and colleagues..
who brought their families along..
it was excruciatin'..
it's more for a 'makcik-makcik' getaway..
trust me..

i couldn't wait to go back that sun nite..
cos the next day i took leave..
had made plans to go ubin with x
hikin'.. cyclin'.. trekkin'..
my kind of getaway..

i was excited to reach woodlands checkpoint..
when x called..
may i say at the right time cos i just passed immigration..
with 2 m'sian cigarette packs in my bag..
one for me.. and one for x.. for the ubin trip the next day..
x called and said he had a store meetin' early next mornin'..
no worries.. we could still go after that..

but x had to ask if he could bring his girl along..
if she followed us.. guess who'll be aloof durin' the trip?..
i understand he hadn't met her for quite a while..
but what am i supposed to say?.. no?..
x did say if i said "no.. she can't follow us"..
it would be ok for him..

but i didn't feel comfortable sayin' no..
that would make me a f*ckin' asshole..
what would his girl think of me?
more importantly.. what would x think of me?
knowin' how much x missed her..
i did the lesser evil..
told x to go out and meet her instead..
he did apologize..
but my heart was already wounded silently..
it was bleedin' with pain and anguish..
at least x was happy..

but to me.. x should not have asked that question at all..
he put me in a position to make that selfless decision..
it wouldn't have happened if x didn't ask..
but i guess x did not understand the predicament he put me in..
and i took leave for nothin'..

it was the worst leave ever..
i had to do somethin' though..
so i went trekkin' at sentosa.. alone..
like a f*ckin' idiot..
(no photos.. not in the mood..)
and there was not even an attempt by x to make amends in the day..

(and then slut had to message me..
at such an appropriate time..
when i needed company badly..
and to rid this disappointment and misery..
i had to do that stupid shit again earlier today..
which ironically i thought it would get better for me..
but the remedy was momentarily only..
disappointment and misery were still loomin' within me)

but x did send me a message to apologize again..
last nite and earlier today..
he did feel bad to have disappointed me..
but i was still unhappy..
x argued that if i were to tell him that he couldn't bring his girl along for the trip..
(which would make me the villain)
he would gladly go out with me as planned..

but i wanted x to make the decision himself..
after all the help and sacrifices i've made..
i just wanted x to make me happy and secured for a change..
i'm not talkin' about money.. it was and never will be an issue..
i'm talkin' about the brotherhood.. the bond we had..
but i guess i expected too much from him..

imagine if it's the other way round..
x took leave and decided to go to ubin with me..
and i asked him if i could bring my girl along..
someone whom he didn't know and not familiar with..
i wonder what would he say..

after all the bickerin' and trashin'..
i apologized to x too..
cos i couldn't bear makin' him feel bad either..
but i'm still mad though..
(on top with the episode with slut)..

like i always believed..
amen has to be diasppointed..
so others can be happy..

unappreciated..

the pinch..

i'm broke..

my home pc crashed early month..
i haven't got it repaired till now..
and yes.. i'm bloggin' this during lunch hour at office..

i've spent a fortune on my driving lessons..
without realizin' it..
but i have no regrets there..

and i need to get things for my weddin' too..
buy gifts for dear..
but i haven't got that rollin' either..

paid bills..
lent money to people..
and i haven't got myself anything this month..

i don't mind spendin' a bit..
when i'm out with the guys..
but i don't squander that badly..

and i'm down to my last penny..
well almost..

it pains me to squeeze out..
some of my marriage savings..

and it's just the first week of Jun..

somebody pinch me..