the end again..

31 dec '08..
was at the ol' jp store..

workin' with the guys..
past by midnight and it was '09..

it was ok though..
cos we had some funny moments in store that nite..

now.. new year..
new problems..

thanks 2009..
you've been both good and bad to me..

31 dec '09..
i'm gettin' outta here..

ouch..

you may be a good boss.. buddy.. etc..

but not a good fiance..

ouch baby..

the stone cold friend..

i have a friend..
he's emotionally unstable right now..
he seems really depressed..
whatever smiles or cheers you see on his face..
are all merely facades now..

he should be feelin'very happy and delighted now..
cos his big day's comin' soon..
but unfortunately it doesn't seem like it..
he's short of cash..
and he's tryin' very hard to make ends meet..
howver deep down inside..
he knows that whatever dough he can get his hands on to save..
it's still not enough..
with his big day loomin' near..
he's really freakin' out..

and to top that..
his lover feels that the matrimony's gonna be a fluke.. seriously..
they really love each other..
but she implied that she doesn't have the faith and confidence in him..
to lead her and the family..
she always does this when she gets insecure..
and irritatin' for that matter..
it's the same ol' shit for my friend..
he had heard this crap countless times..
and finally.. it got my friend thinkin'..
maybe she's right after all..

and this friend of mine..
has a certain personal issue..
he has strong feelings for someone else..
and it's kinda funny.. and queer..
it has been killin' him inside for a long time..
but he doesn't want to jeopardize the bond and proximity..
he has with HER..
but one day he couldn't take it anymore..
he decided to be expressive..
SHE didn't take it too well..
it freaked HER out..
although nothin' happened..

he apologized and SHE's ok with that..
but he feels that from that day on..
it's not goin' to be the same as before anymore..
and it seems like it..
although SHE tried to convince him..
that everythin' is still as it was and always been..
but my friend doesn't feel that way..
he feels neglected lately..
unless SHE does somethin' to prove him wrong..

and my friend is damn worried..
that he can't perform..
he thinks that everythin' on him..
is physically challenged..
he really hates his outlook right now..
from head to toe..
and he relishes one of the deadly sins..
he's sort of a crack addict..

pity the guy..
he's really confused right now..
he has been thinkin' alot lately..
and it seems nothin' can help him..
except for himself..
and i hate myself for not being able to help him either..

i cited to my friend..
that he should do the stone cold act..
in 2002 stone cold walked out from the best job in the world..
cos he had personal probs and needed to ease his mind..
it got people criticizin' and mockin' him..
for walkin' out prematurely..

and my friend replied..
never say never..

taboo tuesday..

time is of the essence for me..

if you guys think i do trainin' for fun..

then you are damn wrong

i tried to comprehend and understand..

each and every situation..

but with 6 different stores..

come 6 different pickled situations..

i didn't realize it will snowball..

into one big shit..

until it gets smeared on my pretty face..

i'm not askin' for anyone's pity..

just be considerate..

and think of those who made the effort..

if you don't push them..

who will?..

and brush up on thou management skills..

if you think that i don't understand..

cos i'm not in your shoes..

that's where you are wrong..

cos hey.. i was there before too..

taboo tuesday indeed..

can't wait for my new surprise tomorrow..

big mistake..

bad move amin..
nice goin'..
sorry man..
but glad we are still ok..

happy 15th birthday adik..

this sicko has nothin'..

don't make me close..

one more door..

i don't want to hurt anymore..

stay in my arms if you dare..
or must i imagine you there..
don't walk away from me..

i have nothin'.. nothin'.. nothin'..
if i don't have you..

b.b did it again..
but it's ok.. you're sick..
there goes my desire..

crap..
got my first parkin' summons this mornin'..
crappy woodlands p.o..
now the question is..
how to evade away from dad..
when the letter comes?..

and i think i'm gettin' sick in the brain..
sicko..

love the great..

to me..
this is the best duet love song..
from the malay music industry..
of all times..

no disrespect to other notable talents..
and other great love songs..
but the message from this song is straightforward..
and easy to comprehend..

if only (my) love life..
can be this simple and romantic..
as the song suggests..
but then again.. gotta be thankful..

and a quick shoutout to my bro..
girls always have the wrong impression..
don't play with troubled waters..
but i guess we are in the same boat dude..

can i dedicate this classic to another love in my life?..

oh no.. shades of adam in the makin'..

but this urge is killin' me..

so close yesterday nite..
when we ate together..
well that's what they say..
so close.. yet so far..

i will kiss you one day..

with honey away..
i'm kinda lonely lately..
well.. bro's gerl was away too..
so it's ideal for us..
to meet and chill over the weekend..
our first weekend since months..
cos we have always been meetin' on weeknights..

watched ninja assassin at bugis together..
gory and violent..
for a moment i thought..
i was watchin' another saw movie..
it was not bad..

well..
it was another bromance moment..
haha..

it will happen one day..
i hope you will be ok with it b.b..

adam dared..

amen?..

bromance rules..

it's freakin' december already..
although it's a few days into the month..
i'll know that this december.. this christmas..
won't be as excitin' and memorable..
as last december..
jurong point..
nite stacks..
new found bros..
love it all..

went for supper this past fri nite..
at lau pa sat..
dhaz mooted the idea..
the usual gang was down with dat..
laughter and fun..
filled the clear nite..
from irritating jokes..
to embarrassin' moments being recalled..
to peelin' prawn shells for the dearest..

it was an awesome get-together..

oh.. and lan has hit the big 3..

and he got punked the next nite..
shrinkwrapped and dirtied..
courtesy of his tm staffs..

bro told me..
he had discarded a number of his old friends..
mostly those from school..
to me it's quite sad actually..
but sometimes it can't be helped..

at present..
i've too grown distant..
from the usual suspects from school or n.s..
we were like brothers..
a brotherhood of some sort..
but not any longer now..
except for a few..
whom i'm still close with..

but the thought of..
"buang kawan"..
simply put..
it's not me..
but realistically speakin'..
not realizin' it..
it had already happened..

i guess my next challenge..
would be how not to discard..
this new batch of bros i have..
with some way younger than me..

we are bounded to go our separate ways..
sooner or later..
stay as bros..
not from bros to friends..
then from friends to acquaintances..

yah bro..
'jiwa' is the word..
so is grease..

bromance still rules..

let's make it work a lifetime..
our lifetime..

greeters.. giftwrappers.. and case of the brother in-law..

the week had been great..

with the exception of honey not here by my side..

and not able to meet bro this week..

besides that.. it was ok..

did the crime prevention talk again..

tot that this run was much better..

than the last i did back in May..

relieved that people indeed listened during my lessons..

when a few days later after the talk..

the tm guys caught the 'zebra lady'..

greeters and giftwrappers trainings followed suit..

had more fun with the giftwrappers of course..

me teaching giftwrapping?..

you gotta be kiddin' me..

well there's always the first time..

feel that me and eddie are closer now..

to tell you the truth..

i was slightly sceptical at first..

when he said he wanted to work..

tot that he can't adapt..

and blend in with the guys..

with his family background and all..

i was wrong..

glad he was able to adjust..

he's a nice boy..

he'll listen..

he's a keeper..

just spent $498 on somethin' stupid..

gotta start learnin' to say 'NO'..

you are such an idiot..

come back to me..

don't say goodbye..
say so long..
heard that from a kid's show i watched when i was younger..
but i could not recall what show it was..
or was it a cartoon movie?..

so.. so long dears..
i'll wait for your returns next month..

firstly saw off bik imah on friday at the airport..
her first haj pilgrimage..
she went alone leavin' her famm..
remembered that when i was younger and pampered..
i ever promised her to buy a crystal crown..
you know.. kid's talk..
until this day she still remembers that promise..
once in a while.. she'll remind me jokingly..
that was cute..

earlier today..
send honey in the early mornin'..
it's her second haj mission..
really admire her strongwill and tenacity..
sometimes i wonder what's the drivin' force..
behind her self-determination and spirit..
to be involved in such missions..

well the logic answer to that..
would be her undyin' and infinite love for God..
for a jerk fiance like me..
all i can do is support her..
and pray for her safe return..

COME BACK TO ME..

i miss her already..
and bik imah too of cos..

honey with two in the bag..
she's as good as a hajjah now..
pressure on me?..
nah.. in due time.. not so soon..

i'm a different breed..

separation after another..

it's me..

i'm happy tonight..

simply happy..

separation anxiety remedied..

the normal hugs and pecks..

sembawang park was happenin'..

i'm simply happy tonight..

but (un)fortunately..

another separation anxiety looms ahead..

will miss you terribly dear..

..or is it just me?..

they just get younger every year..

or is it just me?..

farah diana farah nadia naqibah nurul natasha fazlina nurul amirah hana..

the list just goes on and on..

interview finally done..

got more than enough names for the upcomin' 5-week x'mas job..

the only challenge left is selection and allocation..

XXXXXXXXXX

are we still bros?..

sometimes i don't feel like it anymore..

pls.. pls.. prove me wrong..

or is it just me?..

don't know why by norah jones..

i don't know why i'm kinda pissed with ya..

but trust me..

months or years down the road..

if by chance i read this post again..

i'll be wonderin' why too..

and have you ever wondered..

how will you be remembered by others..

when you die?..

that ol' place..

it's reservist week for the great one..
first ever remedial trainin'..
at the ol' police academy..

well it's not that hellish..
good workouts..
long hours of rest and sleep..

i can practically sleep very late at home..
knowing that the next day at trainin'..
i'll get about 3 hours of rest and sleep..

this visit at the old p.a..
invited back reminiscenceof my n.s days back in '01..
great (and bad) times..

squad 05/2001..
bravo company..
where are you guys now?..

it's a shame we have lost all contact..
with the exception of sam of coz..
as we have been buds way before enlistment..

note to bro:
when servin' the nation..
choose your friends wisely..

last day of r.t tomorrow..
and at the rate of conditionin' (and sleepin')..
i bet i can pull thru the next ippt test..

hmmm ((strokin' the ear))..

second malay post..

tiada erti aku merindu..

jika kau tak ingin bertemu..

apa gunanya bercinta..

di dalam kepura-puraan..

yang lafaz cinta..

hanya bibir..

namun diri tak seringnya hadir..

di saat engkau diperlukan..

aku hampa..

uninvited..

like anyone would be..

you are flattered by my fascination of you..

like any hot blooded woman..

you have simply wanted an object to crave..

but me.. i'm not allowed..

i'm uninvited..

an unfortunate slight..

like any uncharted territory..

you are greatly intriguing..

you speak of my love like..

you have experienced love like mine before..

but this is not allowed..

i'm uninvited..

an unfortunate slight..

i don't think you unworthy..

i need a moment to deliberate..

a tale of two games..

saturday's game was crap..
but not the time spent though..

sunday's game was even crappier..
but not the time spent though..

is there a third game?..
feels like it..
and it seems i'm leadin'..

whatever the final score turns out to be..
don't blame me..

fool again..

you are such a fool..
but the it takes a fool to fool another..
so that makes us bigger fools then..

when you needed help..
we sheltered..
we protected..
but what do we get in return?..

you slapped us hard with shit..
the same shit he slapped you with..
and you returned to him..
willin' to forgive him..

but you can't shrug off..
the few faults of your own flesh and blood..
who had raised you..
with loving care and concern..

and stop givin' that lame excuse..
again and again..
i get sick listenin' to that..

if you want precious..
to start callin' you and him..
what you so much desire..
then start acting like one..

will the real aminurashid please stand up?..

fat..
mocked..
hair problems..
sexuality issues..
low self-confidence..
battered morale..
nerve-wreckin' worries..
uninvited stress..

this is not the aminurashid i used to know..

an ol' metallica classic..

we have each other..
and nothin' else matters..

happy birthday bro..

and yes bro.. i love you too..

first malay post..

kekasih.. cintaku ibarat rimba..
andainya dibakar..
tinggallah debuan arang..

siramlah dengan kata-kata saktimu..
semoga asmara..
berbunga ke akhir nanti..

bagiku engkau..
permata hidupku..
inilah ujian..
buat kita..

missin' one..

shed your ego.. and come home for raya..

driving miss daisy..

sadly i don't enjoy my rides with you..
i enjoy the rides more with my bros and pals..

you are not makin' enough effort to please me..
your many constraints are really deprivin' me..
of the very basic relationship formalities..

i'm trying very hard to make life easier for us..
so that we can enjoy our moments together..
but with you constantly chasin' time..
everytime rushin'.. rushin'.. rushin'..
(your favourite word)
in addition with that shitface of yours..
such a turnoff..

a bro recently commented are you really the one for me?

great..
now it has set me thinkin'..
really thinkin'..
before it's too late..

i seriously don't know..
do you really want me to be the villain?..

and Happy Birthday to you too..

wonders..

nervous wreck week is finally over..

syukur alhamdullillah..

the wonders of ramadan..

i have some new favourite numbers..
4..
126..
2808..

thank you mr. benedict ng..
for welcomin' me to this new society..

it's just a number..

Happy birthday to me!!!

2007

twice a charm huh..

two years back at safra..

lego sales..
my birthday..
got my ass whooped..
they killed the game back then with rafia..
but i did put up a heroic struggle then..

two years on at united square this time..

lego sales again..
my birthday again..
got my ass whooped again..
they killed the game with cable tie this time..
and i put up a heroic struggle again..

the only difference..
i've lost my touch..
the rock is no more they say..

it's ok..
cos the rock has become legend..

damn that candle wax..
panas!.. panas!.. panas!..

check out more pix and vidz on my facebook pple..

28.. it's just a number..

thanks guys.. u all rock!..

blood on the dance floor..

dnd was a blast..

velvet underground.. zouk..

and it was my first time there..

would you believe it?..

amazingly.. i liked the ambience there..

just great!.. age catchin' up with me..

and now i feel like goin' there again..

the theme was "true blue"..

but there was nothin' blue on me..

or blue about me..

i had a lot of fun this nite..

i enjoyed this more than last year's..

love my grey cardigan..

and new converse shoes..

i was supposed to be sick anyway..

on 2 freakin' days mc..

but then.. the rock has his achilles heel..

love thou company on this nite and nite before..

oh.. and dear was quite pissed i went..

but she'll be ok.. soon..

i hope..

check out more pix on my facebook..

weeks too long..

at last after weeks..
we finally met..
ill or fine..
rain or shine..
it doesn't matter to me..

we missed each other's company..

thank you k.f.c..
thank you g.i joe (again)..
thank you lot 1..

thank you bro for the time spent..

the comic freak..

the second comic convention at suntec was a blast!..
never regretted donnin' the project with the rest of the guys..
it started on last wed and ended yesterday..
pix.. pix.. pix galore..
more on my facebook..
experience..
priceless..
one more time next year..

resist is futile..
trust me..
ask my newly acquired hawkgirl..

wanna know a secret?.. the abg drew my caricature for free.. but i told the guys i paid $20/- for it.. so as not to abuse.. boss's orders actually..

team comicon.. seems like there's a villainous ring to it..

my favourite reporter at the event.. she's freakin' hot..

note to honey: get me a wii on our weddin' day..

celebration dinner..