fever..

i'm still waitin'..
and it's february tomorrow..

met mambo at woodlands today..
another j.i bro of mine..
his real name is md. fadli..
can't recall who and why he was given that nick..
mambo..
i think it must be those dikir barat days.. haha..
i'll call him'bo' for short..
and the name stuck with him til' now..

anyway.. mambo's married..
stayin' with his in-laws right now..
a predicament i'll be in too..
in 2 months time..

can't remember the last time we met..
we did a lot of catchin' up..

saw this at metro woodlands..
dude.. there's actually a superhero named after you..
way cool.. haha..

korean fever hit lot 1 today..
some band called shinee made an appearance..

they had an autograph session at the roof top garden..

those who couldn't get through to the top level..

had to make do with the tv screenin' outside the mall..
loads of screamin' girls.. urgh..

mum and afirah went too..

i thought i saw mum screamed too.. haha..

that dreaded day..

enlistment day is always dreaded..

when it comes..

you will start to feel..

two years is a very very long time..

your first nite in camp..

you'd wish you were at home..

tucked in the comfort of your own bed..

then i'd say to you enlistees..

serve you right..

cos before enlistment..

you'd be partyin' outside..

not thinkin' of goin' back..

enjoyin' your nite away..

fuckin' around..

til' the wee hours of early mornin'..

home is the last thing on your mind..

so you 18.. 19.. 20 year olds..

who are yet to surrender your pinkies to mr. lee..

better start appreciatin' now..

anythin' and everythin'..

but don't worry..

you'll enjoy national service..

you just need to put the right foot forward..

and everythin' will be fine..

i remember my enlistment day clearly..

it was exactly nine years ago today..
mom was sobbin' in the livin' room..
and i thought it was because of me..
you know..
me being the firstborn and all..
and goin' for national service..
it can take its toll on overly concerned parents..

but i was wrong..
she wasn't cryin' about me leavin' back then..
somethin' unfortunate had happened in the family..
but of course i didn't know at that time..

mom and dad didn't want to tell me..
they didn't want me to worry..
it was my enlistment day for god's sake..

so mom and dad sent me..
we picked sam first at cck interchange..
sam.. a school buddy and bro of mine..
and then we headed to thomson..
where the ol' police academy was at..

when mom and dad dropped us..
he said they couldn't stay..
cos they had matters to take care of..
i was surprised..
as i expected them to stay for a while..
without me askin'..

i was disappointed though..
but i put up a brave front..
hey this wasn't the first day of primary school..
you can't be cryin' man..

then my first weekend out of camp..
i got to know..
they were attendin' to the unfortunate incident matter..

2001 was not totally a bad year for me though..
despite breakin' up with my first love..
rejectin' my teachin' application hastily..
9/11 and all..

the only solace i had in that year was..
i got a new addition to the family in april..
a lil' baby girl named..
nurul afirah..

god's gift..

nowadays friday nites equal to lifeless nites..
have to get used to it..
and i'm not enjoyin' it one bit..

well i'm still waitin'..
hangin' onto a bro's promise..
i'm still sulkin' though..

but then there's also joy in the week..
as another bro meets success..
congrats dude..


i had a diary ten years back..
it was my 'a' level year..
and i never failed to write everyday..
in that blue ringed note book..
which was actually a system planner..

so let's take a trip back memory lane..
what on earth transpired..
today ten years ago..
hmm.. hmm..
ahhh.. (excited) ohh.. (excited) ohh..

it was haslan and amin's day out..
haslan.. a good ol' bro from j.i..
we sat together in class for 2 straight years..
the guy's a great joker and also a smartass..
seriously.. my grades got better..
when i started sittin' beside him..

the story was.. as written..
we went to extend our passports..
and applied for our exit permits..
cos we were havin' a graduation school cruise..
in March of that year..
and we hanged out and chilled after that..

but what i remembered clearly on that day..
we were in the train..
and being 18 and all..
we loved lookin' at girls..
actually i still do..
i do not know about haslan though..
him being married and has two kids now..
(he married his school sweetheart by the way..
with netty back in 2005)..

so we were standin' in the train..
when this malay girl boarded the cabin..
we were absolutely dumbfounded..
she had this colossal set of melons..
goodness..
she had to be 20.. 21?..
cos we believed she might be a tit..
i mean a bit older than us..
haha..

we couldn't stop watchin'..
and there and then..
we gave her..
actually those set of melons..
a nickname..
god's gift..
haha..
i wonder if haslan still remembers..

well he did remember..
the pact we both made together back in school..
that we would go backpackin'..
before each of us gets married..
unfortunately it didn't materialize..
haslan got married..
and i'm goin' to in a few month's time..

suddenly it's deja vu all over again..
but this time with a different bro..
ok maybe not backpackin'..
ubin or sentosa would be fine..
just us.. i'd be happy..

but i guess..
prepare to be disappointed amin..
again..

best of both worlds..

love life's been better for me..

thank you almighty..

for empowerin' me and dear..

with the patience and strength..

we practically spent everyday together..

this past week..

as we prepare ourselves for our big weekend in april..

money saved.. money spent..

deposits here and there..

but no worries..

no regrets here..

except the fact..

i did not meet any of the guys the whole week..

kinda miss them..

kinda pissed too..

i don't know why..

guess i need closure..

i know i ain't miley cyrus or hannah montana..

can't have the best of both worlds..

like them or is it her?..

damn bitches..

next project in line..

print those darn weddin' cards..

give that rope a tug..

a week with no government in office..
can sometimes take its toll on you..
you get lazier..
and you have to create your own sense of direction..

there are days i just got out of office earlier..
citin' i need to go to stores if queried..
but in actual fact i went home..
straight..

honey's workin' nite shift..
most days this week..
i wanted to meet the bromance gang..
but most are tied up with work..

thank god yat got some free time to spare..
coz wed i totally didn't go to office..
took a gamble..
and watched sherlock holmes at causeway..

at least two others too made the effort..
to make company with me..
despite their busy schedules..
but one remained illusive..

which is quite disheartenin'..
but i guess it's time to start lettin' go..
bros are forever..
but it won't be the same as before after april..

rest assured..
i can't wait to embark on a new chapter in my life..
with my future wife..
new episodes.. new challenges..

yes it's time for us to let each other go..
but bros..
once in a while let's give that rope a slight tug..
and we'll still be there for each other..

it's a first..

wow.. it's a first..
the first in 14 years..
i missed watchin' a.j.l last nite..

a.j.l?..
it's short for anugerah juara lagu..
that malay song competition on tv3..
and i actually missed it.. on purpose..

always have been an avid fan..
watched it live every year without fail..
i would even go to the extent..
and record it on vhs..

lame you say of me?..
well.. i told ya i was weird..
but then when bros asked to meet..
to hell with that competition..
furthermore the songs contestin' now are mostly crap..

now to more important things my life..
i feel better now dear..
thanks..

ramzi's weddin' done with..
who's next?..

gosh.. mine!!!..

cirque du freak..

i really wanted to be alone today..

my mind was in shambles..

but idi called..

wanna meet and chill..

as if he could sense i'm in trouble..

a 12-year old brotherhood itch you might say..

i couldn't refuse him..

being married and all..

and expectin' his second daughter anytime soon..

he still had a bit of time for a brother..

love the guy to death..

ironically we ain't that close back in school..

we grew closer only after that..

told him my troubles..

the thing about idi..

he's very very open-minded..

very..

he really understood..

the shitholes i'm goin' thru right now..

not only the obvious ones..

but the hidden ones as well..

my undesirable desires..

caught the vampire's assistant as well..

it was about vampires (like duh)..

and freaks..

was chillin' but funny..

quite a cool flick..

thank god i'm not a freak..

maybe partially..

idi knows..

but it didn't freak him out..

no pun intended..

hair-raisin' nite..

at last..
the battle's over..
inventory's done with..
for now..

smokin' in the girl's loo..
well that's a first..
one night only..

and stop with the hair jokes guys..
i'm gettin' sick of them..

while another battle still wages on..
and it's killing me..
softly..

the thinkin' woman..

exactly 3 months away..

and suddenly it sets you thinkin'..

contemplatin'..

unsure if this is the right path for you..

for the record..

i want you..

whatever shortcomings i have..

they are merely the lesser evil..

why can't you see that?..

i'll work on them..

even if it takes ten.. twenty years..

you'll have to wait and see..

i know you expect more depth from me..

if this matrimony prevails..

but you don't even give me a chance..

you want it ready on a silver platter..

i'm sorry if i misled you..

if you think that the past two years together..

was a huge lie.. a waste of time.. and unfair for you..

but i don't see it that way..

you have the right to feel this way..

your insecurities and doubts cloudin' you..

but why now?..

why?..

a word of advice..

stop thinkin'..

whatever your final resolution is..

i can take it..

i hope..

nothin' new..

so is this it?..

silence all the way?..
not even a return call..
or a new year's message from you..

what's wrong?..
i know what i want..
how about you?..
just spit it out ok..

make me the villain if you have to..

happy 2010..